The Great Tradition: Who's Who at King's

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When I was a freshman, King’s was a very different school. My class doubled the size of the school, but I still met the entire student body at convocation—most of whom I already knew and some of whom knew me.

These days, King’s isn’t so cozy. Last year, we upperclassmen (including sophomores) were outnumbered 2:1. With this year’s incoming class, the school has doubled in size for the third year in a row.

As the school has grown, the challenges of life in community have grown. One particular challenge is alarming: new King’s students are ignorant of the great tradition that has gone before. If I mention Nathan Poe, The Gadfly, or Wyatt Baker’s cowboy boots, I have to stop and explain who or what the heck I’m talking about. In the spirit of preserving King’s culture, I’ve compiled a handy list of well-known and infamous Kingsians, past and present. Use it wisely, freshmen.

Pam Dodge is best known as last year’s student body president and the co-founder of the King’s Debate Society. She likes to raucously bang her gavel—a gift from KDS—at any opportunity.

For a very long time, Nathan Poe was the only Catholic student at King’s. As of the 2011-2012 school year, he has yet to be beatified, though some argue the City Room should be renamed The Nathan Poe Chapel in his honor. He currently sells real estate in California.

Anthony Randazzo is the poster child for the House of Lewis. He really has gone on to influence strategic institutions, as well as being the first to bring House traditions into the public sphere: in 2011, he wore the maroon Lewis tie on national television.

Amber Lapp was president of SBA during the 2008-2009 school year. She is best known for her mockery of Churchill during a Drama Competition skit, when she poured a gallon of milk on her head while dressed as Stephen Wesley. She now resides in Astoria with her husband David.

Emily Miller ran for student body president in 2010, after a successful year as House president of SBA. Upon graduation, she married the tutu-wearing Andrew Schatz (see below).

Andrew Schatz is a Churchillian icon. Always ready with a snarky comment, he served as student body president during the 2009-2010 academic year. He once wore a tutu to school for an entire week to promote The King’s Dancers.

Keith Ross is perhaps the strangest student ever known to King’s. He likes wearing his top hat while listening to death metal and baking muffins. His senior year, he lived with Burk Ohbayashi, Dan Vigilius, and the chameleon-esque Wyatt Baker in 17G. It was the best room ever.

Wyatt Baker is King’s very own fashion icon. During his tenure here, he regularly changed his hairstyle, sporting a bleached Mohawk, blue dreadlocks, Jack Sparrow hair, and, ultimately, a shorter, more professional-looking ‘do. He always wore battered cowboy boots, and upon graduation, he trekked around Canada for six months.

Matthias Clock is deathly skinny. While at King’s, he co-founded the King’s Debate Society with Pam Dodge. Matthias is overly fond of neckties—having collected close to 50—and reckless driving, but he hates country music. His creepy Gollum impression continues to haunt King’s students. He graduated last May and currently works on the mysterious 15th floor.

Richie Grote is the former comedic genius of King’s. During his time as a student, he ran the overly-snarky King’s Court Jester blog, where he mocked everything from Tent to privacy hours to the Fratstreet Boys. Stories about Richie are legendary and usually pretty questionable.

Lucas Croslow is the quintessential Reagan bad boy. The House of Thatcher holds a long-lasting grudge against him for a prank he pulled during 2009: he left mock press releases all around school, proclaiming the alleged (and very, very fake) death of Margaret Thatcher, the only living House namesake. He also ran The Gadfly, a provocative student publication.

Nick Dunn is still at King’s. He is also still Catholic, much to the dismay of Calvinist Jonathan Clark, who took him on in a public theology debate last year.

Ray Davison also still attends King’s, though he is just as legendary as many alumni. Chances are, you’ve seen him—or heard him—already: he carries a cane, bellows out classical Greek poetry and sports a beard that may or may not harbor seven endangered species of small birds.

Megan Fox is, to the dismay of every freshman boy, not the movie star, although she is far more talented. A fantastic stage actress, she hosts many school events, including Mr. TKC.

Burk Ohbayashi runs the Dungeons and Dragons group at King’s. He’s a self-proclaimed ninja with a penchant for science and theology. He loves talking about Japan, and his alter ego Jimmy is legitimately terrifying.

OpinionHannah Herman